The Turkish ‘Kinsey Report’, Part 3 – First Time Sex

Turkish Sexuality Survey Question —
How would you describe your first sexual experience?

As Metin Üstündag was saying in Part 2…

Until recently, Turkish kids got their sex education in a very haphazard manner — with mostly bad results. My generation was luckier, in some ways — because of what happened in the mid-1970’s in Yesilcam (Turkey’s Hollywood-like film capital located in Istanbul).

The Turkish Erotic Films industry was born (and thrived) during that time and it provided my generation with a sex education, of sorts — though it fell well short of being authoritative. What could we expect? In the role of our sex educator was a porn star, Aydemir Akbas (now a legitimate actor at age 70, who has more than 95 films to his credit). And when he’d leer sexily at the women in those early films, they’d immediately begin to moan with exaggerated desire. In fact, those films probably did more to a develop our sense of humor about sex, than they did to educate us about its ‘finer points’.

Headlines from the sexuality survey…

  • 6 of 10 virgin couples felt ‘excitement’ at the thought of their first sexual congress as partners.
  • 23% of those surveyed felt ‘lust’ during their first sexual experience. The second most mentioned feeling was ‘nervousness’ — noted by 10.6% of participants.
  • Of those citing a feeling of ‘lust’ during their first sexual experience, most were aged 16-34
  • Men (6.2%) more than women (4.9%) described their first sexual experiences as ‘fatiguing’.
  • Slightly more women (9.9%) than men (8.8%) described their first sexual experience with ‘repugnance, guilt, or anger.’ And…
  • Of the more educated women in the survey, one-third of High School finishers and an equal percentage of University graduates were definite in describing their first sexual experiences as ‘unpleasant’, even ‘bad’. But…
  • Men and women equally (6.8%) said their first sexual experience made them “feel safe and secure.”
  • The 4 most-favored places for first-time sex were:

    1) One’s own home (Male – 43%, Female – 82% )

    2) Someone else’s home (M – 18%, F – 7% )

    3) A hotel (M – 9%, F – 3% )

    4) A brothel (M – 20%, F – 0% )

  • First-time sex-partners fell into three main categories:

    1) Husband/wife (Male – 25%, Female – 81% )

    2) Boyfriend/girlfriend (M – 27%, F – 13% )

    3) Prostitutes (M – 27%, F – 0% )

  • Among the celebrities polled, we were drawn to the ‘first time sex’ observations of the full-blooded veteran-actress Müjde Ar and the multi-talented Hülya Avsar…

    Film and TV Actress Müjde Ar

    It’s probably not fair to generalize about men. And, I don’t believe that every pubescent child rings at the door of a brothel — though life is faster and bolder in the big cities these days. As for the subject of the first sexual experience, in my opinion, a man’s greatest fear…is that his nervousness will show!

    All-round Entertainer Hülya Avsar

    I didn’t feel any nervousness, I felt excitement. That’s got much to do with the partner you’re with — and how the man makes you feel. I didn’t suffer a bit at the crucial moment. Afterwards, I had to hear it from him that I was no longer a virgin.

    In Part 4: More headlines from the Turkish ‘Kinsey Report’ — and answers to the Sexuality Survey Question, ‘How old were you when you had your first sexual relationship?

    Click following to access a fully illustrated HTML version of Turkish Sexuality Survey — First Time Sex

    Film Noir Influence in The Virgin Suicides

    Teenage suicide was not unheard of before the nineteen-nineties, but its growing instances during this period led people to acknowledge the problem. Schools even started publishing materials to educate students and parents about the phenomena. The Virgin Suicides confronts this delicate topic straightforward. Sofia Coppola blends elements of her own style with those of classic film noir to show how these young individuals become so alienated in a world they barely know or understand. Through the eyes of five sheltered teenage girls, Coppola opens up a dark universe of isolation.

    From the start of the film, it is acknowledged that the five Lisbon girls all died before they made it to adulthood. A small group of boys, now men, from the Lisbon’s neighborhood have never forgotten about the mysterious sisters whom they have never come to completely figure out. One of the men narrates the film and informs the viewer that he and his friends still gather at every high school reunion and birthday party to discuss the fate of the Lisbon girls.

    The film then flashes back to their childhood circa 1975, and introduces the girls as they get out of their family’s station wagon. Cecilia is the youngest at 13, preceded by Lux, Bonnie, Mary, and Therese whom were all one year older than another. All of the girls seem so young, innocent, and beautiful. However, it is soon revealed that Cecilia has just gotten out of the hospital after an attempted suicide.

    Cecilia begins seeing a therapist who recommends that the strict Lisbon’s allow their daughters to have a party to cheer the girls up and enable them to interact with boys and girls their own age. Cecilia is upset by a group of her peers making fun of a child with Down syndrome. She feels that she will never really belong to society either, and so she runs upstairs and jumps from her window. Her second attempt at suicide is successful since she lands on a pointed, wrought iron fence. The rest of the film deals with the Lisbon’s struggle to cope with this new reality. In the end, the remaining sisters decide that Cecilia was right about the world being a bleak and lonely place where existence itself is futile, and so they decide to join her by taking their own lives.

    Although The Virgin Suicides is by no means a classic film noir, it is undeniable that Coppola was influenced by the ideas that it brings to mind. The mood of some scenes, for example, has parallels with that of film noir. After all, Coppola intends to bring the audience to the bizarre and heavy world in which these doomed girls live. Both of the suicide scenes and the scene when Trip leaves Lux in the middle of the football field after having sex with her evoke a sense of uneasiness and inconceivability that is definitely characteristic of film noir. The Virgin Suicides is also influenced by noir themes and style. The film is primarily about these teenage girls feeling separated from the crowd, cooped up in the half-reality that was their home. Everything about the Lisbon house is drab and gray. There is never direct sunlight, or high-key lighting inside the Lisbon home. It is as if the girls are covered in cobwebs like little china dolls being preserved in a basement somewhere. Coppola uses light throughout the film to symbolize life and change, like the cuts to outdoor time-lapsed shots with the sun glowing in the background. This also shows that things outside are changing, but the Lisbon girls are forced to remain stagnant in their rooms.

    The Virgin Suicides also boasts a particularly edgy score for the time period it was meant to represent. Track titles include “Cemetery Party”, “Dirty Trip”, and “Bathroom Girl.” These are songs Mrs. Lisbon would most definitely not allow her children to listen to. Coppola even makes a point of this by showing Lux burning all of her rock CD’s at the hands of her mother. This represents the authority the girls’ parents still have over their lives, but the score still playing throughout the movie represents their struggle to make a place for themselves. Perhaps the girls would have made it and they were simply being suffocated. More likely, however, is that the girls saw no hope in living for a future they saw as lonely, awkward, and unfulfilling.

    The Virgin Suicides also departs from noir, and more modern filmmaking conventions are noticed. Lux Lisbon is not the classic femme fatale of film noir. She knows her sex appeal and that she can use it to her advantage, yet she is not trying to deceive the men she sleeps with. Lux is simply trying to justify what happened with Trip. She had sex with him after their Homecoming dance because she thought he cared about her, and then he just left her asleep on the football field. Lux, being only fifteen years old, was really affected by this. She then reacts by trying to prove to herself that sex means nothing. Then it would be okay if she lost her virginity to Trip for no good reason.

    The story of the ill-fated Lisbon sisters needed to be told in a modern context, while the world they live in and the experiences they have are sometimes noir. Therefore, a true infusion of a few different styles and genres were required. Sofia Coppola does a wonderful job of mixing conventions of film noir with her own thematic style in the direction of The Virgin Suicides. The music and lighting of the film are akin to noir, as is the general theme of the film and it’s setting where days blend together and even sex is meaningless. However, none of the sisters quite resemble a classic femme fatale. Also, the boys may be like junior detectives, but they have no ulterior or hidden motives. Their respect and wonderment of the Lisbon sisters is sincere, and that is something that cannot exist in a film noir.

    Why The Adult Film Industry Absolutely Sucks And Is A Bad Sex-Education For Most Men

    You might think the title of this article sounds a little extreme, but it’s not.

    Allow me to explain…

    I’m a firm believer that a man’s greatest pleasure in life is to totally SEXUALLY SATISFY his woman in the bedroom.

    You know what I’m saying, right?

    Giving your woman mind-blowing, earth-shattering SEXUAL PLEASURE beyond her wildest dreams — that makes you feel pretty good.

    And that’s where the ‘adult film industry’ falls flat on it’s face most of the time.

    You see, most porn is made for a male audience and it just shows female porn stars usually being quite roughly ‘screwed’ by male porn stars.

    Now I’m not against rough sex.

    In fact, it’s my experience and that of my clients that most women like the sex to be a little rough most of the time.

    But there’s another thing women also like during sex — ORGASMS.

    And this is why I say that porn movies are a bad education for men because the women on screen rarely seem to have an orgasm!

    I believe that as a society our social skills are becoming worse with time. People are resorting to communicating with friends by electronic means (Facebook, Twitter etc) and we are forgetting how to communicate in ‘real life’.

    This is leading to a lot of single people.

    And what do single men tend to do a lot of?

    You got it — watch porn.

    So they see women having sex and getting roughed up, but they don’t see a lot of orgasms. And that’s a very bad thing because when these guys eventually get a woman — they don’t know what the hell they are doing in bed.

    Here’s a pretty interesting FACT:

    – 50% of women have CHEATED and most of them did so to GET BETTER SEX

    And by better sex, you can read — GET MORE ORGASMS.

    With all that said, I should just clarify that I’m not a ‘porn hater’. In fact, I’ve found some women I’ve dated enjoy porn. But they are very specific about what kind of porn movies they like to watch.

    Usually it’s the ones with a bit of a believable story line and the ones where the women look like they are ENJOYING IT, read — having orgasms.

    Women do not like to watch the run of the mill, ‘bang, bang, bang’, all about the male actor type porn.

    So, what’s the bottom line?

    Well, if you are single right now — spend more time off your computer, interacting with real people and don’t use porn as your sex-education tool.

    If you are in a relationship, be very careful about what type of porn you get your woman to watch with you (if you do that kind of thing).

    Above all else, whatever your current relationship status — remember to give women incredible pleasure and wild screaming orgasms in the bedroom. Do that and you’ll be doing better than 90% of the men out there.